Raven's Home : Sysadmin : A Day in the Life of a BOFH : Do Not Lick Pipes
Do Not Lick Pipes
The sysadmins discuss home protection...
I went to lunch today with a couple NAFHs[0] and we ended up having the most interesting turn of conversation....
It all started over the warning signs around our liquid nitrogen tanks. Nelson wanted to put up a sign stating "Do Not Lick Pipes". [1] Somehow, we got into the issue of LARTing people legally and started talking about electrifying various things as LARTs. The important rule is to make sure they stay on the property.[2] Here are various comments....
"Why can't we blast them onto someone else's property?"We decided against salting the brook to improve conductivity, since we wanted fish. It was definitely a bastardly lunch.
"Then they get you for littering.""It'll have to be AC, not DC, 'cause we want them to stick to the fence until they're vaporized...." [followed by a description of the body's reactions to AC vs. DC current]
[after discussing protecting the lusers from the electric fence with a regular fence for legal reasons[3]]
"When the electricity kicks them back, the fence will also keep them on the property."
"Hey, maybe we could trigger the 'non-live' fence to go live when someone touches the inner fence."
"Get them bouncing back and forth between them?"
Then everyone simultaneously thought/said "Pong!"
"If we run a brook down the middle, the water will make them better conductors."
"And I can use three-phase!"
-- Heather the Surly
[0] Network Admins....
[1] Since, as we all know, it just puts ideas into their little luser heads.
[2] Because if they are, you're defending your property. If they aren't, you're hunting out of season....
[3] Because signs aren't enough to prevent you from getting sued these days.
Last Modified : Feb. 12, 1999
Heather Garvey / raven@xnet.com