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Do Not Lick Pipes

The sysadmins discuss home protection...

I went to lunch today with a couple NAFHs[0] and we ended up having the most interesting turn of conversation....

It all started over the warning signs around our liquid nitrogen tanks. Nelson wanted to put up a sign stating "Do Not Lick Pipes". [1] Somehow, we got into the issue of LARTing people legally and started talking about electrifying various things as LARTs. The important rule is to make sure they stay on the property.[2] Here are various comments....

"Why can't we blast them onto someone else's property?"
"Then they get you for littering."

"It'll have to be AC, not DC, 'cause we want them to stick to the fence until they're vaporized...." [followed by a description of the body's reactions to AC vs. DC current]

[after discussing protecting the lusers from the electric fence with a regular fence for legal reasons[3]]
"When the electricity kicks them back, the fence will also keep them on the property."
"Hey, maybe we could trigger the 'non-live' fence to go live when someone touches the inner fence."
"Get them bouncing back and forth between them?"
Then everyone simultaneously thought/said "Pong!"

"If we run a brook down the middle, the water will make them better conductors."
"And I can use three-phase!"

We decided against salting the brook to improve conductivity, since we wanted fish. It was definitely a bastardly lunch.

-- Heather the Surly

[0] Network Admins....

[1] Since, as we all know, it just puts ideas into their little luser heads.

[2] Because if they are, you're defending your property. If they aren't, you're hunting out of season....

[3] Because signs aren't enough to prevent you from getting sued these days.

Last Modified : Feb. 12, 1999

Heather Garvey / raven@xnet.com